Note to Self Regarding Apartment Hunting

When you make an appointment to look at an apartment, you expect the landlord to be a little quirky. You won't blink if the person who answers the phone sounds like a former KGB agent and is named Vladimir. However, when Vladimir tells you that he may be late to meet you because he will be riding his bike, that might be a sign that this particular apartment is not for you. But you arrive anyway, after needing to get your car battery jumped in a Safeway parking lot. You are a serious applicant, mind you. But please, when you see that Vladimir is tall and lanky, with a porn star mustache and is wearing spandex bicycle shorts (complete with horrid bulge), and you are still across the street, TURN AROUND AND HEAD BACK TO THE CAR WITHOUT A WORD. He won't know it was you. And besides, you already left him a message that your car was in need of AAA assistance. It is your own damn fault if you greet him, and have to witness him dragging his bike into the building, and then view a disgusting apartment that hasn't even really been vacated yet, and get a single finger on your palm when you attempt to shake hands. As you are an advocate of a firm handshake, that last point alone would void any further interaction. So no whining to your friends and begging for sympathy. You had your chance, and you blew it.